You know when you're a heavy drinker when...

These made me chuckle...

1. He's got a lot of willpower. He's finally given up trying to stop drinking. (thanks to Shane)
2. She hates the sight of liquor. That's why she drinks it so fast.
3. He's on the drinking man's diet. Now he's a skinny drunk.
4. She's getting so high she's soon going to need a net under her.
5. He deducts his booze costs because he drinks to others' health so often.
6. Occasionally, she is held up going home. That's the only way she gets there.
7. He believes in a balanced diet; a drink in each hand.
8. She never plays "Spin the Bottle". She won't let go of it!
9. His nickname is "Truck" because he always has a load on.
10. It only takes one drink to make her drunk. She's not sure if it's the eighth or ninth drink, however.
11. He only drinks on days ending in "Y".
12. She only drinks when she has company or is alone.
13. He is a public spirited person. He drinks spirits in public.
14. She knows that alcohol is a slow poison. She doesn't mind, she's not in a hurry.
15. When he's working overtime, he gets time and a fifth.
16. When there is a nip in the air, she tries to drink it.
17. If it wasn't for pretzels, he'd be on a liquid diet.
18. In bars across the nation, she's one of the unsteadiest customers.
19. He's the nicest guy on two feet. If he could stay there.
20. When she catches a cold, she buys a bottle of whisky. In no time, it's gone. The whisky, not the cold.
21. He's not one to do things halfway. He does them in fifths.
22. When she comes back from lunch, she's so loaded she has to take the freight elevator.