New words For 2005

The lovely Aimee sent these to me, very funny....

TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.

BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline wasmissed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps oneverything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancementby sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream onlyto get screwed and die.

CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cubefarm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on.(This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)

SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turninto when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home withthe kids or start a "home business".

SINBAD. single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.

STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the crap out of anelectronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are oftenprofoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed tosolve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" - needless paperwork and processes.

404. Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 NotFound," meaning that the requested document could not be located.

OHNOSECOND. That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you'vejust made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all')

GOING FOR A McSHIT. Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention ofbuying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staffmember, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as aMcShit with Lies.

AEROPLANE BLONDE. One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'blackbox'.

AUSSIE KISS. Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a boozecruise at 3am.

BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home afterbooze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, howyougot here, and where you've come from.

BREAKING THE SEAL. Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours ofdrinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to thetoilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

BRITNEY SPEARS. Modern Slang for 'beers', e.g. "Couple of Britney's please"

GREYHOUND. A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

JOHNNY-NO-STARS. A young man of substandard intelligence, the typicaladolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from thebadges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.

MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressivewhen viewed from the outside, but there's actually naught in there worthseeing.

MONKEY BATH. A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go:"Oo!Oo!Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!".

MYSTERY BUS. The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're inthe toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive peopleso the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

MYSTERY TAXI. The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning beforeyou wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.

NELSON MANDELA. Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager)

PEARLHARBOUR. Cold (weather). An example of it would be - "It's a bit PearlHarbor" out there (there's a nasty nip in the air)

PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks likeshe's got four buttocks

SALAD DODGER. An excellent phrase for an overweight person

SWAMP-DONKEY A deeply unattractive woman

TART FUEL. Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women