A Must See Movie...

Released in 2001, Donnie Darko has attained a cult status with film lovers both here in the UK and in the States. I have been meaning to see it for some time, but until last night I've not had the time or the opportunity.

After finally seeing it last night, what can I say? This film is unique, stunning, dark, compelling and beautiful. Not a "teen flick" by a long shot, but as other reviewers have said, this is a film that demands a certain level of intelligence. If you want a film full of action, with a simple plot, look elsewhere, if however you want an intelligent film, with an interesting philosophical plot, then Donnie Darko is well worth checking out.

I have only seen it the once so far (last night), but I can understand why other reviews have said you need to watch this film more than once to pick up on all the details of the plot.

The only film I can think of that this can be compared to would be Jacobs Ladder, as there are certain parallels with the final twist, but overall, Donnie Darko is unique, a true masterpiece of cinema, well worth seeing. I'll definitely be watching it again.

It's also worth checking out the Donnie Darko web site to fill in some of the blanks the film may have left, especially to read "The Philosophy of Time Travel" (if you have trouble finding it on the official site, it can also be found here)

All I can say about those who have slated this film and given 1 star ratings is they obviously don't have the intelligence the view this film on the many levels it demands. See it for yourself; make up your own minds.

Spyware...

I really, really, really hate the sh*theads who make a living from Spyware/Malware and the like. Viruses are illegal aren't they? People who make viruses and worms can , and have been prosecuted. Who can't the people putting spyware on our machines be prosecuted?

Yes, I know, "I need some spyware protection" you say, and yes I have installed Lavasoft AdAware on my machine, which does detect the offending items, and it does attampt to remove them, but as soon as I reboot, it reappears. Arrrrgggghhhh!!

After spending the day looking for a way to remove the 17 "software" items hidden on my machine, it seems to me there are dozens of anti-spyware packages out there, but none of them guarantee removal of all offending items, so I could potentially end up buying several different apps from several different vendors - I want to buy ONE piece of software that will solve the problem, not spend upwards of £10 on a piece of software that, once I've paid for it, cannot remove everything.

So, I am now going to rebuild my machine, to start from a clean build again, I suppose it's due anyway.

The bottom line? Spam is becoming more and more unacceptable/illegal - Is'nt it time we did something about spyware, tracking cookies, datamining and the rest?

Now the fun starts....

Hmm, time to start to really think carefully before opening my mouth. HP has just suddenly started to get into gear with his speech. In the last couple of months he has mastered his ABC, and he's had 1 to 11 sussed for the last six months or so. All well and good you may think.

Well, yes, yes it is, until Mummy dropped something in the kitchen the other day and exclaimed "bollocks" in a rather loud voice. Quick as a flash, I heard a little voice say "bollocks" in return!
I can't wait for Nanny to come and try having a conversation with him, that's really going to be one to look forward to if we're not careful. If you need an illustration of what I mean, here's a list of some of his notable vocabulary.

Stinky kaks
Poo
Greebo
Bum
Farty
and of course "bollocks"

Need I say more? (Especially if he strings them all into one sentence!)

A Thoughtful Moment...

Another illustration of how blogging expands your horizons and makes you think. I'm not a very demonstative bloke - for example, when HP was born, all I could bring myself to say was "hello little man, I'm yer dad"

So, when I read this on Jim Cota's blog, it really struck a chord. I don't know much about Gen. Douglas MacArthur, but this piece makes him a wise man in my book...

A Prayer For My Son

Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid; one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory.

Build me a son whose wishes will not take the place of deeds; a son who will know Thee -- and that to know himself is the foundation stone of knowledge.

Lead him, I pray, not in the path of ease and comfort, but under the stress and spur of difficulties and challenge. Here let him learn to stand up in the storm; here let him learn compassion for those who fail.

Build me a son whoses heart will be clear, whose goals will be high; a son who will master himself before he seeks to master other men; one who will reach into the future, yet never forget the past.

And after all these things are his, give him, I pray, enough of a sense of humor, so that he may always be serious, yet never take himself too seriously. Give him humility, so that he may always remember the simplicity of true greatness, the open mind of true wisdom, and the meekness of true strength.

Then I, his father, will dare to whisper, "I have not lived in vain."


Thanks for posting it Jim.

Live and Let Live

I was going to post this in my "japes and jokes" section, but then I got to thinking....

Four years ago, a good friend of mine (with a sick sense of humour) sent me a link to Jesus Dress Up. Today, I was looking back through my funnies for stuff to share with my visitors when I found the link. Admitedly, it is irreverant, and those of a religious persuasion could be offended, but I find it amusing.

I also find it interesting though, because is seems to illustrate that the "wild frontier", freedom of speech aspect to the internet is being eroded.

The guy behind Jesus Dress Up, a loon called Normal Bob Smith, runs a website that seems to delight in "extracting the urine" (if you don't get it, leave a comment I'll explain...) out of anything related to the Catholic religion (among other things). He delights in not only the fan mail, but he also revels in the flames and the hate mate, but some of his visitors take it a step further and have forced the removal of certain content. - Why not build a site, or a blog, or start a counter campaign to put your point across? Besides, if you don't like his site, you can always try getting a little revenge

Surely, we are all entitled to voice our opinions, as long as no-one comes to harm as a result? - Please note: I am not talking about the sick stuff like child pornography, snuff/death related topics etc - There is no place for that sort of thing anywhere.

In an age of extremism, I suppose it's not surprising, but I for one love the internet for it's ability to provide everybody with a voice, regardess of what they are saying. After all, if you don't like it, just click your back button or go elsewhere.

I don't agree with, or like everything I see online, but with too many individuals, action groups and agencies imposing their views, rules and regulations upon us, the interent should remain the last bastion of choice and freedom. Don't you agree?

100 Smiles

I'm sure you've all seen them. The "100 things to know about me" list. Not sure what to make of them, they run the risk of being really boring, but I might try to make one myself at some point in my blogger adventure.

If you want the easy way to do it, try Michele's method, get other people to write it for you. See the list as it stands so far.

Selfish Dog Owners

Why are some dog owners such selfish scumbags? I don't mean all dog owners, just the ones who let the dogs crap everywhere and then not clear it up. Some lowlife left a calling card right outside my front gate this morning.

Perhaps I'll set up surveilance outside and then follow the culprits, then go and "pinch off a log" on their doorstep.

I know that clearing up the mess is not a pleasant task, but if you want a dog, thats the price you have to pay. I don't have a dog, I have a kid, and I don't want him stepping in it, and I don't want to have to carefully pick my way down the path whenever I step outside.

So, if you are one of those people who do clear up after your dog, I'd like to say thanks, you're welcome here anytime, BUT, if you are an owner who refuses to live up to your responsibility, then please, go and bury yourself in your pets output.

Well, I survived day one...

Evening all. Ah, the relief, peace at last. HP has just gone to bed, we've had a great day, it's not often that I can take the time off work to spend any quality time with him, so I've really enjoyed it.

Well most of it - as I feared in my last post, he was more than generous with the noxious substances he outputs, with not one, not two, not three, but four unpleasant parcels! - I reckon my other half fed him laxatives yesterday to make sure I learn my lesson!

Based on my day, here's a quick list of things I must teach HP asap...

1) Patience - How do you reason with a 2 and half year old?
2) It's Daddy's XBox...
3) Not everyone in life will bribe him with chocolate milkshakes like I do
4) How to use the potty (the sooner the better, but I'm reliably informed that boys are lazy and it might take some time...)
5)How to put his stuff away - you should see the state of the house. - Mind you, his mum would say thats a trait he's inherited from me!

What I've learnt today...
1) HP is actually a little person, with a real sense of humour.
2) That being a mum is really hard work, I'm shattered after one day!
3) That I can look after him if I have to.
4) I've missed too much of him through working too much. I've got to try to do something about that.

Anyway enough of the proud dad rubbish, I've got an hour or so 'til Angie get's home, so a chance for a nice cold beer and some undisturbed blogging...

The long weekend ahead...

Well, this may be my last post until after the weekend. She who must be obeyed is going to The Yoga Show with her yoga mates this weekend, which means I'll have HP all to myself.
"Sounds good" I hear you say, and of course, as a proud dad I'm forced to agree.

But...I really, really hope that he "does his business" either
(a) BEFORE his Mum leaves...

or

(b) AFTER his Mum returns from her days out.

If not - well, lets put it this way, it won't be pretty - although I suppose I could just leave him sat, in a brown haze of stench until she gets back.

Best Place for Him!

Meet HP , my son. He's 3 in March, and already he's become a right little loon - not surprising when you consider his parents (Well, his mother at least!)

His latest pastime is : To open a cupboard, eat everything in it (including the packaging), then climb in and close the door behind himself. Best place for him if you ask me! I mean - it's not as if we don't feed him according to the instructions in the manual.

To be honest, anything that makes as much noise, causes as much mess, and most importantly smells that bad needs to be shut in a cupboard, preferably in someone elses house.

In the 10 minutes running up to this photo being taken, he has eaten 6 Fray Bentos pies, 3 tins of Spam, half a jar of gherkins from Christmas 1997 and to top it off, a packet of butterscotch Angel Delight, made not with milk, but drool. Nice.

What is it with Royal Mail?

The Royal Mail. What can I say? It used to be that the postman would arrive, bright eyed and bushy tailed, sometime around breakfast, BEFORE you went to work. These days, they turn up when they feel like it, if they can be bothered.

Here in sunny Dartford, it's not unusual for the lazy git to not turn up until 2pm! - Now, I might be unfair blaming the postman, but he is the public face of Royal Mail, surely he should represent them, and to be honest, if I get a card through the door once more, explaining that I have to collect a parcel as I was not in at time of delivery, I will scream. Surely, if the post arrived at the traditional, breakfast time, I WOULD be here to accept delivery.

Perhaps I should invoice Royal Mail for my time wasted eveytime I have to traipse off to collect a parcel that they have tried to deliver at some ridiculous time of the day.

It's also worth questioning why he did not think of leaving the parcel with a neighbour, would that be too much like using his iniative, or is it that in todays world, most of us hate our neighbours, and would rather NOT have to knock on their doors to pick up a parcel? Come to think of it, I would rather collect from the depot than speak to the freaks living either side of me.

Now, we all know that the Post Office say's it is suffering these days, with more competition and the immidiacy of email, but surely, if they bucked up their ideas, and maximised on their potential, they should be able to turn things around, don't tell me EBAY and the like have'nt drummed up a mini delivery empire waiting to be picked up by a delivery/shipping company with a little savvy - there are so many partnership ventures now (BT Yahoo broadband anyone?) that surely the Post Office could join forces with Ebay or similar to provide a reliable service, that benefits all concerned.

In the meantime, it looks like a walk to the depot to collect parcels, will at least provide me with some much needed exercise.

The Red Mist

Please, let this be a rare occurrence. The photo to the left is NOT a reconstruction. This is what happens when a toddler is overcome by the red mist.

I'm the first to say how fortunate we are to have an ankle biter as easy going as the one we've got, sometimes, we witness the spawn of Satan that seems to hide inside every "little darling".

My mother once said to me, that she could hardly wait for me to be a father, so she could witness me going through what I put her through when I was a kid. (Apparently, I was a nightmare!) I think that must be the only thing that kept her sane...

Oh how she cackles when I tell her about how her "beautiful", "perfect" etc etc grandson has made our ears bleed, eaten furniture and ripped doors from their frames.

With any luck I will retain my sanity to a similar degree as my mother did (well I say that but she now has conversations with her dog - in public!).

Whatever, it's all good - That's what I keep telling myself anyway.

Spam

No two ways about it, spammers are the worst of the "internet marketing" fraternity. DON'T DO IT.

Don't get me wrong, I welcome creative marketing, I'm a huge fan of some of the excellent viral campaigns out there, the really good ones brighten up the day, and I have a massive saved collection of them in my Outlook profile. I'm talking about the bane of many (if not all) internet users - Spam

As far as I am concerned, spam is the biggest single waste of my time. As I operate several websites and domain names, I am bombarded with literally thousands of spam emails every day. I'm sure someone out there has been confused with someone else - I DONT want a 32 hour erection, a chocolate teacosy, a radio controlled hamster trap, exclusive video of Vanessa Feltz experimenting with household objects or any of the other crap they are trying to tell me I need.
These people must responsible for more wasted time/resource in the course of the average day than anything else, they have created an entire industry of waste.

The worst of the bunch though, are the scam spammers, you know the ones I mean, "please help me get the $4 million dollars my dead husband left in an offshore account" type scams, and the following....

---------------------------------------------------------------
FROM: THE DIRECTOREUROPEAN PRIZE AWARD DEPT.REF:EL3/9318/04BATCH:8/163/EL.


Attn:Dear Sir/Madam

We are pleased to inform you of the result of the Lottery Winners International programs held on the 15/3/2004. Your e-mail address attached to ticket number :EL-23133 with serial number: EL-123542,batch number: EL-35,lottery ref number: EL-9318 and drew lucky numbers 7-1-8-36-4-22 which consequently won in the 1st category, you have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of US$2,500,000.00 (Two Million, Five Hundred Thousand United States dollars) CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Due to mix up of some numbers and names, we ask that you keep your winning information confidential until your claims has been processed and your money Remitted to you. This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by some participants. All participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from over 40,000 company and 20,000,000 individual email addresses and names from all over the world.

This promotional program takes place every year. This lottery was promoted and sponsored by a group of successful electronic dealers.we hope with part of your winning,you will take part in our next year US$20 million international lottery. To file for your claim, please contact our paying officer:

Contact Person:Mr Charles Carlos(Lottery Director)
TEL: 31614822715Email: charles_carlos@velocall.com

Remember, all winning must be claimed not later than 10th Of November,2004.After this date all unclaimed funds will be included in the next stake.

Please note in order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications please remember to quote your reference number and batch numbers in all correspondence.

Furthermore, should there be any change of address do inform our agent as soon as possible.
Congratulations once more from our members of staff and thank you for being part of our promotional program.

Note:
Anybody under the age of 18 is automatically disqualified.


yours Sincerely,
Charles Carlos
+31614822715
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Tossers. I hate them, just put 'em all against the wall. - Nuff said