If, like me, your are always on the lookout for design inspiration, it's well worth checking out this site. It's all in Russian, but you don't need to read Russian to appreciate it's photo gallery of retro product packing design.
Well worth a look!
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
In the doghouse - Literally!
There's a lesson to be learnt here. Helena Bukarowicza got so sick of her husband Zdzislawa going out on the lash and spending all their money on vodka she chained him up in a dog kennel!
I thought I got it in the neck when she who must be obeyed moaned about me going to the pub!
You can read the story here...
I thought I got it in the neck when she who must be obeyed moaned about me going to the pub!
You can read the story here...
Puerile, but funny...
Just taking a break from coding for an hour or so and stumbled up on this...it appeals to my schoolboy sense of humour, but it's also a cool bit of flash coding/design.
Check it out, the fabulous Farting Nun Organ!
Check it out, the fabulous Farting Nun Organ!
Monday, January 09, 2006
Scouse Vasectomy
For any reader from Liverpool, may I apoloise in advance.....
After having their 11th child, a Scouse couple decided that was
enough, as they could not afford a larger bed.
So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife
didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that
would fix the problem but it was expensive.
A less costly alternative was to go home, get a big firework, light
it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to
10.
The scouser said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest bloke in the
world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my
ear is going to help me".
Trust me, it will do the job", said the doctor.
So the man went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He held
the can up to his ear and began to count: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5," at which
point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue
counting on his other hand.
This procedure also works in Birmingham, parts of Essex, inner London,
Sunderland and anywhere in Scotland
Hehe, made me chuckle....
After having their 11th child, a Scouse couple decided that was
enough, as they could not afford a larger bed.
So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife
didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that
would fix the problem but it was expensive.
A less costly alternative was to go home, get a big firework, light
it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to
10.
The scouser said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest bloke in the
world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my
ear is going to help me".
Trust me, it will do the job", said the doctor.
So the man went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He held
the can up to his ear and began to count: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5," at which
point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue
counting on his other hand.
This procedure also works in Birmingham, parts of Essex, inner London,
Sunderland and anywhere in Scotland
Hehe, made me chuckle....
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Another new site goes live
For those of you interested in projects I have carried out, another new client's site went live this week.
The Roger Wenn Partnership Limited are a Kent, UK based firm of architects, cost consultants, interior designs and project management specialists. They approached me about 8 weeks ago to produce a new web site.
The new site uses Macromedia Flash, and features a showcase of TRWPL's previous projects and clients.
Your comments are welcome...
The Roger Wenn Partnership Limited are a Kent, UK based firm of architects, cost consultants, interior designs and project management specialists. They approached me about 8 weeks ago to produce a new web site.
The new site uses Macromedia Flash, and features a showcase of TRWPL's previous projects and clients.
Your comments are welcome...
A handy little plug-in...
For those of you who have not yet seen it, check out Blogger For Word, a fantastic, free plugin for Microsoft Word that lets you create and edit posts for you blog from without having to leave Word.
It’s so easy to use and makes it a snip to create new posts in your own time, even offline, without having to copy and paste or login to your Blogger account.
I’ve been using it for a couple of posts so far, and think its superb. Give it a try for yourself, download it here
It’s so easy to use and makes it a snip to create new posts in your own time, even offline, without having to copy and paste or login to your Blogger account.
I’ve been using it for a couple of posts so far, and think its superb. Give it a try for yourself, download it here
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
A Cheerful Post...
In case you are wondering what 2006 holds in store for us all, take a look at Exodus2006.com, a cheerful site outlining predictions made in codes buried in the worlds great religious texts.
If you believe everything you read on this site 2006 looks like being one to miss if you can, with some truly catastophic events being predicted, including: Huge solar flares, Impacts from space (asteriods), a Yellowstone Supervolcano eruption, Polar shifts, Nuclear attacks by terrorists, and more...
If you believe everything you read on this site 2006 looks like being one to miss if you can, with some truly catastophic events being predicted, including: Huge solar flares, Impacts from space (asteriods), a Yellowstone Supervolcano eruption, Polar shifts, Nuclear attacks by terrorists, and more...
Have a look for yourself, it makes for interesting reading.
At last, a REAL use for cats...
I've got be honest, I'm not a cat lover, but I am unfortunate enough to be involved with a woman who has three of the things.
This story is one that appeals to me in a big way, but I doubt if my other half would agree, and if you are a cat lover, neither will you!
This story is one that appeals to me in a big way, but I doubt if my other half would agree, and if you are a cat lover, neither will you!
Woman Marries Dolphin....?
The world is full of nutters, and this story just reinforces my opinion...
Another MS Security Flaw
A good way to start the new year, another security flaw has been discovered in most versions of Microsoft Windows, from Win 98 to the most recent Windows XP.
Oddly enough, it's not Microsoft that have released a patch, but a third party. Brian Krebs, PC Security expert on WashingtonPost.com posted the following...
"It appears we will be ringing in the new year with a new and improved exploit that online miscreants can use to attack an unpatched Microsoft Windows flaw and install spyware, viruses and other dangerous digital intruders.
The latest bit of malware takes advantage of the same Windows Metafile (files ending in .wmf) security hole that Security Fix warned about earlier this week, the one where Windows users can get infected just by clicking on a specially crafted link in an e-mail or visiting a Web site that hosts the malicious code. "
There have been reports of a new IM worm making use of this WMF exploit, which you can read about here...
"We will see this vulnerability being used for various different purposes for months to come, and I wouldn't be surprised to see a massive worm outbreak before Microsoft releases this patch," said Mikko H. Hypponen, chief research officer at F-Secure. - You can download the patch here...
Oddly enough, it's not Microsoft that have released a patch, but a third party. Brian Krebs, PC Security expert on WashingtonPost.com posted the following...
"It appears we will be ringing in the new year with a new and improved exploit that online miscreants can use to attack an unpatched Microsoft Windows flaw and install spyware, viruses and other dangerous digital intruders.
The latest bit of malware takes advantage of the same Windows Metafile (files ending in .wmf) security hole that Security Fix warned about earlier this week, the one where Windows users can get infected just by clicking on a specially crafted link in an e-mail or visiting a Web site that hosts the malicious code. "
There have been reports of a new IM worm making use of this WMF exploit, which you can read about here...
"We will see this vulnerability being used for various different purposes for months to come, and I wouldn't be surprised to see a massive worm outbreak before Microsoft releases this patch," said Mikko H. Hypponen, chief research officer at F-Secure. - You can download the patch here...
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
A New Year, A New Blog!
Well, after neglecting my blog for some time, I have decided to attempt to start regularly blogging again. Whether I am successful or not remains to be seen, but like all New Years resolutions, the intentions are good.
For those of you who have read my blog before, I intend to add some of the best bits of my previous blog, just to fill this new blog out until I get some new content together. If you have never read my blog before, be prepared for my ramblings about life in general, web development, rants and raves and more.
For those of you who have read my blog before, I intend to add some of the best bits of my previous blog, just to fill this new blog out until I get some new content together. If you have never read my blog before, be prepared for my ramblings about life in general, web development, rants and raves and more.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
The worlds smartest dog...
Apparently, Terry Wogan told this joke on his radio show last week.....
A dog goes into a butchers shop, it's got a little bag around it's neck containing some money, and it's carrying a letter in it's mouth. The butcher takes the note, which reads...
500g of minced beef
8 pork sausages
4 lamb chops
The butcher is a little taken aback, but decides to give to dog what is on the list. So, he makes up the order, takes the money, hangs the goods round the dogs neck and drops the change back into the little bag. Once he'd finished the dog turned round and left the shop. The butcher just could'nt believe how clever this dog is.
This carries on over the next few days, each time the dog brings a list, and takes the order home.
After the fourth day, the butcher decides he is going to follow the dog to find out where it goes, and to congratulate the dog's owner on having trained the dog so well. So when the dog leaves, he tell his assistant to mind the shop for him and he sets off after the dog. He follows the dog for about fifteen minutes, as it crosses the round, walks round the corner, over the bridge, down a side street, until it arrives at it's owners house. When it gets to the front door, the dog stands on it's back legs and knocks on the door.
The butcher cannot believe how smart this dog is!
The owner of the dog opens the front door, and the first thing he does is to give the dog a kick!
The butcher runs up to him and says "you can't treat him like that, he's the smartest dog in the world!"
The owner replies......
"He can't be that smart - This is the thrid time this week he's forgotten his front door key!"
Heh heh......
A dog goes into a butchers shop, it's got a little bag around it's neck containing some money, and it's carrying a letter in it's mouth. The butcher takes the note, which reads...
500g of minced beef
8 pork sausages
4 lamb chops
The butcher is a little taken aback, but decides to give to dog what is on the list. So, he makes up the order, takes the money, hangs the goods round the dogs neck and drops the change back into the little bag. Once he'd finished the dog turned round and left the shop. The butcher just could'nt believe how clever this dog is.
This carries on over the next few days, each time the dog brings a list, and takes the order home.
After the fourth day, the butcher decides he is going to follow the dog to find out where it goes, and to congratulate the dog's owner on having trained the dog so well. So when the dog leaves, he tell his assistant to mind the shop for him and he sets off after the dog. He follows the dog for about fifteen minutes, as it crosses the round, walks round the corner, over the bridge, down a side street, until it arrives at it's owners house. When it gets to the front door, the dog stands on it's back legs and knocks on the door.
The butcher cannot believe how smart this dog is!
The owner of the dog opens the front door, and the first thing he does is to give the dog a kick!
The butcher runs up to him and says "you can't treat him like that, he's the smartest dog in the world!"
The owner replies......
"He can't be that smart - This is the thrid time this week he's forgotten his front door key!"
Heh heh......
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Great Expressions For Those High Stress Days...
1. Well, aren't we just a ray of fucking sunshine ?
2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we ?
3. Do I look like a fucking people person ?
4. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
5. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
6. You! Off my planet !
7. Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control.
8. I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes.
9. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe ?
10. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be ..?
11. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
12. Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego ?
13. How do I set a laser printer to stun ?
14. I'm not tense, just terribly terribly alert.
15. When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.
16. Earth is full .. Go Home !!!
2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we ?
3. Do I look like a fucking people person ?
4. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
5. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
6. You! Off my planet !
7. Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control.
8. I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes.
9. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe ?
10. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be ..?
11. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
12. Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego ?
13. How do I set a laser printer to stun ?
14. I'm not tense, just terribly terribly alert.
15. When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.
16. Earth is full .. Go Home !!!
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Things I'd Love To Say At Work...
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a fuck.
3. How about "never"? Is "never" good for you ?
4. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
5. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
6. Ahh, I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again.
7. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
8. I'm already visualising the duct tape over your mouth.
9. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
10. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
11. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
12. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
13. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
14. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
15. What am I ? Flypaper for freaks !?
16. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
17. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
18. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
19. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
20. No, my powers can only be used for good.
21. I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me.
22. You sound reasonable ... time to up my medication.
23. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
24. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
25. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
26. Who me ? I just wander from room to room.
27. My toys ! My toys ! I can't do this job without my toys !!
2. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a fuck.
3. How about "never"? Is "never" good for you ?
4. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
5. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
6. Ahh, I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again.
7. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
8. I'm already visualising the duct tape over your mouth.
9. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
10. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
11. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
12. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
13. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
14. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
15. What am I ? Flypaper for freaks !?
16. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
17. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
18. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
19. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
20. No, my powers can only be used for good.
21. I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me.
22. You sound reasonable ... time to up my medication.
23. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
24. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
25. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
26. Who me ? I just wander from room to room.
27. My toys ! My toys ! I can't do this job without my toys !!
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Kill The Crazy Frog
I really, really hate that bloody Crazy Frog, so imagine my delight when I found this!!
Love it...
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
New words For 2005
The lovely Aimee sent these to me, very funny....
TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.
BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline wasmissed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps oneverything, and then leaves.
ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancementby sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream onlyto get screwed and die.
CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cubefarm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on.(This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)
SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turninto when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home withthe kids or start a "home business".
SINBAD. single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.
STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the crap out of anelectronic device to get it to work again.
ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are oftenprofoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed tosolve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" - needless paperwork and processes.
404. Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 NotFound," meaning that the requested document could not be located.
OHNOSECOND. That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you'vejust made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all')
GOING FOR A McSHIT. Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention ofbuying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staffmember, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as aMcShit with Lies.
AEROPLANE BLONDE. One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'blackbox'.
AUSSIE KISS. Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a boozecruise at 3am.
BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home afterbooze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, howyougot here, and where you've come from.
BREAKING THE SEAL. Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours ofdrinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to thetoilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.
BRITNEY SPEARS. Modern Slang for 'beers', e.g. "Couple of Britney's please"
GREYHOUND. A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
JOHNNY-NO-STARS. A young man of substandard intelligence, the typicaladolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from thebadges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.
MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressivewhen viewed from the outside, but there's actually naught in there worthseeing.
MONKEY BATH. A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go:"Oo!Oo!Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!".
MYSTERY BUS. The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're inthe toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive peopleso the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
MYSTERY TAXI. The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning beforeyou wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.
NELSON MANDELA. Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager)
PEARLHARBOUR. Cold (weather). An example of it would be - "It's a bit PearlHarbor" out there (there's a nasty nip in the air)
PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks likeshe's got four buttocks
SALAD DODGER. An excellent phrase for an overweight person
SWAMP-DONKEY A deeply unattractive woman
TART FUEL. Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women
TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.
BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline wasmissed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps oneverything, and then leaves.
ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancementby sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream onlyto get screwed and die.
CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cubefarm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on.(This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)
SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turninto when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home withthe kids or start a "home business".
SINBAD. single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.
STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the crap out of anelectronic device to get it to work again.
ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are oftenprofoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed tosolve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" - needless paperwork and processes.
404. Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 NotFound," meaning that the requested document could not be located.
OHNOSECOND. That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you'vejust made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all')
GOING FOR A McSHIT. Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention ofbuying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staffmember, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as aMcShit with Lies.
AEROPLANE BLONDE. One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'blackbox'.
AUSSIE KISS. Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a boozecruise at 3am.
BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home afterbooze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, howyougot here, and where you've come from.
BREAKING THE SEAL. Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours ofdrinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to thetoilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.
BRITNEY SPEARS. Modern Slang for 'beers', e.g. "Couple of Britney's please"
GREYHOUND. A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
JOHNNY-NO-STARS. A young man of substandard intelligence, the typicaladolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from thebadges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.
MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressivewhen viewed from the outside, but there's actually naught in there worthseeing.
MONKEY BATH. A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go:"Oo!Oo!Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!".
MYSTERY BUS. The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're inthe toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive peopleso the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
MYSTERY TAXI. The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning beforeyou wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.
NELSON MANDELA. Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager)
PEARLHARBOUR. Cold (weather). An example of it would be - "It's a bit PearlHarbor" out there (there's a nasty nip in the air)
PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks likeshe's got four buttocks
SALAD DODGER. An excellent phrase for an overweight person
SWAMP-DONKEY A deeply unattractive woman
TART FUEL. Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women
Friday, August 05, 2005
One of Maxi's Funny Friday Lists
1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.....
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
5. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman,"Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
6. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
7. Is there another word for synonym?
8. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
9. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
10. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
11. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
12. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
13. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
14. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
15. How is it possible to have a civil war?
16. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
17. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
18. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
19. Why are haemorrhoids called "haemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
20. Why is there an expiry date on sour cream?
21. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?
22. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.....
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
5. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman,"Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
6. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
7. Is there another word for synonym?
8. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
9. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
10. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
11. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
12. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
13. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
14. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
15. How is it possible to have a civil war?
16. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
17. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
18. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
19. Why are haemorrhoids called "haemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
20. Why is there an expiry date on sour cream?
21. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?
22. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Leave me alone!
I'm wondering how many hours a day are wasted by the muppets who call out of the blue offering various services, free kitchens, double glazing and the rest. I've just moved back to my mums for a while and am working from home - Well, I say working, I would be working if I was'nt answering the phone every 5 minutes to have someone trying to sell me something.
What really gets on my nerves is that the vast majority of the companies making these telesales call have outsourced to India, and as a result the combination of long distance calls, and different accents makes it hard to understand what's being said. Surely if you want to sell something, it helps if the potential lead can clearly understand what's on offer, and a strong Indian accent is'nt really what I'd call easy to undersand.
If you work for one of these companies, then please LEAVE ME ALONE, I don't want or need a free kitchen, mobile phone, credit card, orthopeadic bed, or anything else for that matter - Don't call us. We'll call you.
Telesales is becoming the new spam. Not good.
What really gets on my nerves is that the vast majority of the companies making these telesales call have outsourced to India, and as a result the combination of long distance calls, and different accents makes it hard to understand what's being said. Surely if you want to sell something, it helps if the potential lead can clearly understand what's on offer, and a strong Indian accent is'nt really what I'd call easy to undersand.
If you work for one of these companies, then please LEAVE ME ALONE, I don't want or need a free kitchen, mobile phone, credit card, orthopeadic bed, or anything else for that matter - Don't call us. We'll call you.
Telesales is becoming the new spam. Not good.
Thursday, April 07, 2005
Choose Chav...
UK readers will no doubt be aware of the "Chav" phenomenon. Those of you who are'nt should visit Chavspotting for a definative guide to all things Chav - This is one of the funniest sites I've seen in a while...
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